Am I qualified? Probably not.

Recently, I experienced a “spiritual crisis”. I felt that God was calling me from a rather passive relationship with Him to something more. I was comfortable where I served at Chickasha Life Church, but I was spiritually uncomfortable. God was calling me to serve in a leadership role in the church that was completely new to me. But, I didn’t know how to do it and I wasn’t qualified. How was I supposed to step into a role that was uncomfortable to me – even if it was somewhere He wanted me to be? So I did nothing. Sound familiar?

I finally became uncomfortable enough to begin to praying for answers. If He wanted me to step up, I needed to know how to get from here to there. I needed a road map. Thoughts like “People know who I am and they know what I’ve done,” and “I don’t have enough credibility or integrity to lead,” were holding me back. There were many things in my past that I regretted and all those doubts gnawed on me day in and day out.

One day during a conversation with a friend, I read aloud Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” I followed it up with Jeremiah 31:34 “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

After I read these passages, I asked him, has God forgiven you and do you believe His promise that He has forgotten your sins and will not condemn you for them any longer?

He said yes.

I explained that I don’t condemn him, and that no one on earth can condemn him either! I stopped, looked down at those verses and read them again, and again. I realized what I just said to him and it brought tears to my eyes.

How could I ask someone to believe what I couldn’t accept for my own life? In that moment, God broke my spirit, and I felt His presence overwhelm me. As tears ran down my face, I asked him to forgive me and I committed to Him that I would follow Him without doubt until my last breath!

I began to listen, really listen, to God when I prayed. It was through those moments of prayer that I understood something that had held me back for years! I had allowed my past, my mistakes, and my weaknesses to disqualify me.

God has since opened my eyes in ways I haven’t experienced in years! I don’t have the right to disqualify myself, I belong to Christ! He is made strong through my weaknesses. He is glorified in spite of my past mistakes. It’s not about me, it’s about Jesus! I can now look to the future with Him, and I don’t have to focus on my past mistakes!

I pray a different prayer everyday now, “God, help me to show people who You are, so that they might see You and follow You, not me.” I write this with tears running down my face again, because I know that in spite of everything I have done, He chooses to use me to glorify Him.

Please don’t disqualify yourself. God wants to use you too. He doesn’t need your abilities, He wants your availability!

Alan Verser
Associate Pastor, Chickasha Life Church

One thought on “Am I qualified? Probably not.

  1. Sherrie says:

    Loved reading this today! Love you Alan and I know from personal experience that God has used you and Sharon for many decades to change the lives of countless people, including me. Your willingness to be “inconvenienced” by the relationships God placed in front of you is an example to all who have been impacted by your family. Will be praying for you as you begin this new role!

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