When I was first asked to share a personal experience with God, I thought, no big deal, I’ll just share about seeing God move in a child’s life. Usually this is a child that we have not been able to reach and how that was an emotional experience for us. But, every time I have thought about it, I keep coming back to the loss of my parents. Maybe, it’s because of the date. 3 years ago today, I lost my mom. I keep telling myself and God there is nothing spectacular about it, nothing profound. But I keep coming back to it, so here goes.
I was prepared for the loss of my dad. He fought cancer and it was a rough road. He had suffered a lot, but in the end, we were able to be there and say goodbye. But my Mom was different. It wasn’t expected and it was a devastating blow for me. I have watched several Steve Furtick messages lately. In one of them, he says don’t tell your story before it’s over. I honestly don’t think that this chapter of my life is complete, but I can tell you where I’m at with it. I wish I could tell you something profound about how losing my parents changed the course of my life and now we are doing amazing things because of it, but that’s really not the case.
The loss of my parents brought many struggles, anger, depression…It has been difficult for me. I have spent many days in tears with questions of why. I even took depression meds to help for a while. I was close to my mom, we talked every day, sometimes even several times a day. Over the last 3 years, I have seen many changes in our lives. I went from having a mom that insisted the kids had to be raised a certain way to being more flexible in those rules. My morning talks with my mom have since been replaced with talks with God and beautiful sunrises showing his unending love. We were able to buy land that my parents once had hoped to build a home on and built a house. I watch my aunt love our children as though they are her grandkids. These are just some of the changes I have seen. If you were to ask others, they might see other ways that God has worked in our lives that I am overlooking. There have been so many blessings that have come about since that loss that probably would not have happened without it.
I know it’s nothing spectacular, but if you find yourself in a season of loss, I hope you will look for the blessings. It won’t happen overnight, maybe not even in a year. But while you are in that season, know that it is okay to hurt, to cry, to love, to remember. And God will be there the whole time, ready and waiting.